To the makers of Monopoly

Dear Monopoly,


Here are some suggestions for new Chance cards:

You have won a reality TV show and earn £100,000. However, the fame is short-lived and in three goes time you are found in a pit of depression from which there is no likely return. You lose all of your property and have to forge a new life under a different identity.


You are mugged by a gang of hoodies and lose £50. However, on the insurance claim you charge for a lost Rolex. Earn £850.


You go to a party at Michael Barrymore's house. Receive £1000 to never speak of it to anyone.


Your electrical company is bought out by Powergen. Return it to the bank and receive their generous offer of £10. This is exceedingly reasonable during this economic downturn.


You are welcome.