Hello.
I am an inventor and have recently devised an excellent traffic calming measure that I think would be of interest to you.
The idea centres around the concept of the humble roundabout. However, on my roundabouts, drivers will be encouraged to get in one of three lanes, each with a different treat awaiting them.
The first lane (nearside) will give drivers the chance to pick a karaoke number for a celebrity singer to perform from the centre of the roundabout. Drivers will be so pleased to see the likes of Ricky Martin, Peter Andre, Chico and Michelle McManus singing classic hits that they will merrily potter round the junction without accident.
The middle lane will be for drivers who suffer from confidence issues. That way everyone will be able to see them and prepare for their ludicrous, ill-conceived maneuvers.
Finally, the outside lane will be reserved for people who have Syphillis. This way, you will never get anyone driving like an idiot, because the only place they can do that is the place where they are telling the world that they have an embarrassing condition. Bob's your aunty; safer roads.
Could you send me a reply to this proposal that outlines how successful you think it would be, so when I go to the Minister for Transport, they will know I have used the best roundabout experts for advise.
Thanks,
David Hall
Calming traffic today, for the children of tomorrow.
No comments:
Post a Comment